Thriving Through the Holidays
If you’ve been reading along in our newsletter or spending time with us on the podcast, you may have noticed some common themes we return to again and again—especially when it comes to helping families create more peace and stability during the holidays and long breaks from school.
The holiday season can be beautiful, meaningful, and joyful—but it can also feel overwhelming. To make things simpler, here’s a practical guide to thriving (not just surviving) the holidays and winter break.
1. The Name of the Game Is Appropriate Expectations
Expectations are powerful. The holidays often come with an unspoken pressure for magic, joy, and whimsy—which can be hard on parents and kids. When expectations are high, flexibility tends to shrink. We hold tightly to how we hope things will go, and when plans fall apart, the disappointment can feel heavy.
This season, try setting expectations intentionally low.
Feed your kids something edible each day and consider that a win. Anything else that happens? A net gain.
You don’t even need to expect everyone to get dressed every day. In fact, we highly recommend setting aside at least one full 24-hour period during winter break for pajamas only.
2. Use Your Anchors
Many kids thrive on predictability, which can be tough to maintain when school is out and routines shift. While you may not be able to keep a full schedule, you can create anchors around essential rhythms—especially food and sleep.
Aim to serve meals and snacks around the same time each day, and keep bedtime as consistent as possible. These anchors provide a sense of safety and predictability, reduce anxiety, and support emotional regulation for everyone involved.
Simply put: well-fed and well-rested people tend to cope better.
3. Regulation Is a Two-Way Street
Both caregivers and kids need regulation. When we’re regulated, our window of tolerance expands—we’re more flexible, more patient, and better able to respond rather than react.
Before the holidays begin, take time to consider what helps you feel balanced and grounded. Then, be intentional about building those supports into your break. This may mean having a conversation with your partner or support person ahead of time and making a plan for shared coverage and rest.
At the same time, your child will need support that meets their individual regulation needs. This could look like:
Physical play or movement
Quiet time with reduced stimulation
Increased nurture and connection
Time outside
Sensory supports (yes—even something as simple as a good piece of gum)
If you’re unsure what helps your child regulate best, reach out—we’re happy to help you figure it out.
4. Practice Flexibility
The holidays are a great opportunity to practice flexibility—for parents and kids alike. Holiday schedules are often packed, and things don’t always go as planned. Having a Plan B (or even Plan C) can make all the difference.
Be prepared to pivot if you notice signs that your child is nearing the edge of their window of tolerance. This might mean:
Keeping noise-canceling headphones handy
Leaving a gathering early
Or deciding not to attend an event at all
Flexibility works best when paired with attunement—reading your child’s cues and anticipating when they may need a break, a change, or an exit plan.
5. Hold Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries are especially important during the holidays—and they are not a bad thing. Boundaries help ensure that everyone’s needs are met in ways that support healthy, respectful interactions.
Loved ones often bring their own expectations into the holiday season, particularly around how they hope to interact with your child. Take time to identify what is and is not okay for your family, communicate those boundaries clearly, and then stick to them.
Protecting your child’s needs—and your own—is an act of care, not conflict.
The holidays don’t have to be perfect to be meaningful. With realistic expectations, supportive routines, intentional regulation, flexibility, and clear boundaries, it is possible to move from simply surviving to truly thriving this season.