For many adoptees, questions about their story begin long before a search ever does.

Who do I look like?

Where did I come from?

Why was I adopted?

Do I have siblings?

Does my biological family think about me?

What would happen if I found them?

There may come a time when wondering becomes searching. And sometimes, searching becomes reunion. In a special bonus episode of Beneath the Branches, sisters Lily and Kate Chambers share what happened when their own questions eventually took them across the world in search of their biological family.

Lily & Kate’s Search and Reunion Story

Lily and Kate were adopted from China as infants and grew up knowing they were adopted. Their parents incorporated their Chinese culture into their childhood and surrounded them with other adoptees and families whose lives looked like theirs. As they got older, curiosity about their biological family grew, and when the girls were in seventh grade, their family traveled to China and began searching.

There was no clear roadmap to follow. Some of the information in their original records turned out to be inaccurate. A private investigator had previously searched without success. During the trip, the family distributed flyers and shared information through WeChat, hoping someone might recognize the identical twin girls.

Eventually, a lead came. Lily and Kate were taken to a home where they met a man who was convinced almost immediately that they were his daughters. They met biological sisters and extended family members. They ate together, exchanged gifts and learned pieces of a story the girls had never known. Their biological family believed they had found them.

Lily and Kate hoped they had, but no one knew for certain yet. That meant beginning a reunion while still waiting to learn whether this was actually their biological family. Later, DNA provided the answer: they had found their family.

The Same Reunion. Two Different Experiences.

One of the most meaningful parts of Lily and Kate’s story is not simply that their search was successful, it is hearing how differently they experienced it. They are identical twins. They grew up in the same family. They traveled to China together. They walked into the same home, met the same biological relatives and received the same DNA results.

And yet, they did not experience those moments in exactly the same way.

Lily remembers approaching much of the search as an adventure and feeling optimistic about what they might discover. Kate carried more questions and worries about what might happen if they did not find their family, or if the people becoming emotionally attached to them turned out not to be biologically related to them. Their story is a powerful reminder that there is no universal adoptee experience. There isn’t one way an adoptee is supposed to feel about searching, and there isn’t one way an adoptee is supposed to feel after reunion.

Finding Someone Is Only Part of Reunion

It can be tempting to think of search and reunion as having a finish line: We found them! But finding someone may actually be the beginning of an entirely new part of an adoptee’s story. Reunion can bring answers and create new questions. It can include excitement, connection and relief alongside grief, uncertainty, loyalty concerns, disappointment, or emotions that are difficult to name.

Relationships may develop quickly, slowly or not at all. Expectations between members of the adoption constellation may be very different. Cultural and language differences may need to be navigated. New information about an adoptee’s history may change the way they understand pieces of their own story.

And sometimes a search does not result in the reunion someone hoped for. That deserves support, too.

Support Before, During, and After Reunion

At AFCC, we believe adoptees and families shouldn’t have to figure out these experiences alone. Our Search & Reunion Consultation and Support is designed to help adoptees and adoptive families thoughtfully navigate the emotional and relational pieces of search and reunion.

Support may begin before a search ever happens by talking through expectations, fears, boundaries, possible outcomes and whether an adoptee feels ready to take the next step. It may happen as contact or reunion begins, helping families slow down, make room for different emotions and navigate relationships that may suddenly feel very significant. And it can continue after reunion, when the initial intensity has settled and there is an opportunity to process what was learned, what has changed and what ongoing relationships might look like.

The goal isn’t to decide for an adoptee whether they should search, how they should feel about what they discover or what their relationships should become. It is to create space for the adoptee and family to navigate those decisions and emotions with thoughtful, adoption-informed support.